Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
