Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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