he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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