Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. š
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dogās dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a āwater bottleā. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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