So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
