the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Randomize
