so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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