Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
