you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
