absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
