Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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