Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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