just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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