What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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