Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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