bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
