I love black thongs
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
What a dumb baby whore.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
