Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize