I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
