are you still at the devil's house?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
