i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
