if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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