I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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