No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
