she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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