NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
