Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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