I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
