I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
