It's Friday. Sex?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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