Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
