The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
