But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
thus making me awesome and them whores
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
