Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
