Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
