Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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