I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
