he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
