Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
