So drunk, too bad you don't want this
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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