Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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