Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
