I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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