im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
