remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
