Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i think my cat just said my name.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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