sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
