fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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