Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
