I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
